Saturday, February 19, 2011
Today is seriously wtf... I'm getting tired too...
2 days ago after work, i came home settled down and used the com. I on the com so as to completed my logbook for the day and when i'm done with my work, i decided to play. halfway playing, my sis told mi that she was busy while im playing so im suppose to help her hang the clothes instead. 3hrs ago, my father called to say wadever i do, make sure i'm to finish my work first. I FINISHED!!! and guess wad? He said i fking didnt so cos i got the clothes to hang! WTF pls, i'm doing a favour for my sis and this is wad i got? Just 10mins, all i nid was 10mins to let mi end my game before i stop to hang clothes. He nagged thru tt 10mins and to make things worst, my mother hanged it. The good o' routine started again, saying how useless i was, only know how to play game after returning hm... After finishing his words he will walk away and i waited to see him back at the door. True enough, in less then 20sec he walked back and continued the nagging.
So these 2 days he didnt spoke to mi, i didnt bother to try.
This early afternoon at started to rain didnt it? Kind of heavy tt the windows are suppose to be close rite? But my rm, the rain wasnt entering. So i didnt bother to close it. But someone came n close it, thanks.... When the rain ended, every single window open except mine and i got scolding again~~ Cos i didnt open it. WTF its my fault again?! I forsee that theres no nid to close the window, and tt someone did. Now its my fault. Its okay, i agree probably i could have open it my own i dun blame this.
To make me worst, today morning, the washing machine was activited to soak the clothes. It was half load only, i soaked my new dark formal attire seperately fearing tt it might leak colour, and left my other 2 tops next to the washing machine. Upon running the machine ltr in the afternoon, all clothes around the machine was to be thrown in. And guess wad now? idk if its my lil bro or sis activited the fking machine at half load with so mani clothes put OBVIOUSLY around it, they even bathed before activating, they shld oso notice my dark attire i was soaking seperately. WHAT happenned? NONE OF THE CLOTHES WERE THROWN IN. When i found out that not a single shyt of my formal attire was thrown in, i started demanding whu activated the machine w/o throwing the remaining clothes around in. What did i get in return? My father came and said its my fault to be blamed for my shirts not in it. Just bcos i was playing the com. Seriously pls, the washing machine was half load! Any no-brainer can tel tt its suppose to be filled up with the other clothes. Even so, nvm if the clothes werent thrown in, but the clothes soaking in the toilet is like so "DUH IM SUPPOSE TO BE WASHED TOO". Is even justice? From my sibling fault to can be seen tt its mine... i really dun know wad to say...
Feel like giving up, im really doubting now wads really going thru behind those masks. Praising mi for being able to do this and that, when he is not happi, even the right can be twisted to wrong in his eyes. Its tired, im scared now, im scared to talk, fearing off stepping on the self destruct button.
When his ok with mi, when i do something, he keeps quiet, when i help, i get some gd word.(Example: His com is having problems starting up recently, i found a way hitting the com abit would work most of the time, he was like ooo kk i will do tt nxt time. Today i heard, see he thinks by hitting the com solves the problems, he bother to find and alternative anot!) Yes, i agree, i could have done so... but see the difference when someone is happi/neutral or unhappi with u?
Wen da, wad u said to mi 3yrs ago about the further my thumb can bend backwards, the more unfilial i will be in the future, i didnt belief it totally, not a chance. Now I'm starting to belief its true. Deep in me, shld i jst... Whenever he ask for my help, i jst do it and a full stop. When as a family, we have talks i wouldnt add in into th conversation, im scared that he couldnt take my humour... When he praise mi, i will ask him to save his breath. I just wan peace, not having a war with you, im alrdy very happi... are we heading towards the relationship of a gd tenant and landlord? =(
Pls somebody, i need help... What should i do... Can someone tell mi where have i gone wrong... I'm willing to note n learn...
[wasted my time again] at 
4:09 PM
